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its good to laugh, and my aunt's sense of humour is too good not to share


A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A
FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

HONEY,
COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE,

THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT

TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO

FINE, SHE SAYS
THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR?
THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK

I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS
HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS...............................

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
TO GO HOME

AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING

AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
OUTSIDE AND CRIED.

JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME
WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM..

HE OFFERED TO DO ALL TH E REPAIRS, AND
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.

HE SAID,
SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?

SHE REPLIED,
HELLOOOOO..
DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN
ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!

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A lil something i received in my email from my dear ol' aunt!

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy
should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his
age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too
concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father
decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his
study table four objects.

1. A Bible.

2. A silver dollar .

3. A bottle of whisky.

4. And a Playboy magazine .

'I'll just hide behind the door,' the old preacher said to himself. 'When he
comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.

If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing
that would be!

If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man , and that would
be okay, too.

But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and
Lord, what a shame that would be.

And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a
skirt-chasing womanizer.'

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he
entered the house whistling and headed for his room.

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he
spotted the objects on the table.

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up
the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and
took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher disgustedly whispered. 'He's gonna run
for Congress.'

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It’s like spending time with you, just doing absolutely nothing
That makes me happy
When you’re at work putting on TV shirt, and I love it


It's the smile of a child, its your eyes, its your hair
It's the touch of your skin that’s what gets me there
It's also enticing waking up from a nice dream
To a beautiful morning with you by my side, that’s nice
It’s like walking through the sprinklers, smelling every
flower one by one ,makes me happy
it’s like Telling me you love me and showing you love me baby

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One day in your life
You'll remember a place
Someone touching your face
You'll come back and you'll look around
You'll remember the love you found here
You'll remember me somehow
Though you don't need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You'll remember one day
When you find that you're always lonely
For a love we used to share
Just call my name, and I'll be there